A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he has about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
How many of you have given someone the silent treatment? Or some of you may have been the receiving end of a silent treatment. There’s a saying, “Silence is golden.” It may be true for certain situations, like studying in a library, or trying to focus on something that requires your absolute attention. However, receiving the ‘silent treatment’ as a response from an acquaintance may not be a pleasant experience. According to our social norms, the silent treatment is a form of social rejection. Inevitably, it will lead to forms of social isolation, along with adverse psychological consequences such as loneliness, low self-esteem, aggression, and depression.1 Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “In the end, we will remember not the word of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
A boy named Philip once discovered a verse in from the book of Mark (11:24), which says, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” He thinks immediately of his clubfoot: He would be able to play football. His heart leaped as he saw himself running faster than any of the other boys. It would be splendid to be like everyone else, not to be stared curiously by new boys who did not know about his deformity. He prayed with all the power in his soul. No doubts assailed him. He was confident in the Word of God. And the night before he was to go back to school he went up to bed tremulous with excitement. There was snow on the ground, and it was really cold. Philip’s little room was so cold that his fingers were numb. His teeth chattered. The idea came to him that he must do something more unusual to attract the attention of God, and he turned back the rug which was in front of his bed so that he could kneel on the bare boards, and then it struck him that his nightshirt was a softness that might displease his Maker, so he took it off and said his prayers naked. When he got into bed he was so cold that for some time he could not sleep, but when he did, it was so soundly that Mary Ann had to shake him when she brought his hot water next morning. She talked to him while she drew the curtains, but he did not answer; he had remembered at once that this was the morning of the miracle. His heart was filled with joy and gratitude. His first instinct was to put down his hand and feel the foot, which was whole now, but to do this seemed to doubt the goodness of God. He knew that his foot was well. But at last he made up his mind, and with the toes of his right foot he just touched his left. Then he passed his hand over it. He limped downstairs just as Mary Ann was going into the dining room for prayers, and then he sat down to breakfast. “You’re very quiet this morning, Philip,” said Aunt Louisa presently.
When God is silent.
In his online blog entitled, “Daily Walk with God,” Rev. Darryl Mathis describes silence is especially painful when it is the silence of God in our lives. And it seems that when we are going through a painfully long period of silence from God, there are many people that want to tell us about how God has “spoken” to them. That tends to trouble me, because I begin to wonder why God is speaking to them and not to me.
In his book entitled, “Prayer,” Philip Yancey described the relation between answered and unanswered prayer as “The Inconsistency Problem”. When I hear a person describe a remarkable escape from an airplane crash, I cannot help thinking about the people who died in the same crash, many of them praying just as fervently… I do not doubt that God answers prayer. Rather, I struggle with the inconsistency of those apparent answers… Many books on prayer include a statement like this: “God always answers prayer, but sometimes No is the answer.” I read that statement and then think of specific friends and relatives who received the negative answer. Why? Were their prayers somewhat deficient?
When God is silent we can simply become upset with God, we become confused, we start to doubt. The truth is that we just don’t know what to do with God’s silence. There is some sort of anguish in my life, I am suffering and in pain like the psalmist. And it seems that I have been praying to God for a very long time, to help me with my problems, and all that I am met with, is silence from God. Then I begin to question if God has given up on me or has stopped listening to my prayers and me.
There are a few biblical examples where God gave the ‘silent treatment’. Best example is the story of Job. Job cried out to God for 37 chapters before God finally answered in chapter 38. Then there’s Moses. Moses pled with God to allow him to accompany the Israelites to cross the Jordan River before he died. God refused the request. Moses was so angry that he lashed out at the Israelites, blaming them for God’s refusal (in the book of Deuteronomy). Several times the armies of Israel prayed for victory over their enemies, only to suffer humiliating defeats. Even the book of Lamentations describes the agony of the prophets when God was silent to their requests.
Let me make a disclaimer, I do not have the answers to the question, “Why is God silent to our prayers?” Rather, I am inspired to present a few possible suggestions that may help and guide us through the silence of God.
There is a story that you may have heard about a man who once lost his valuable watch in an icehouse. All of his fellow workers diligently searched the icehouse looking for the watch. They combed every inch of it, but they couldn’t find it. A little boy, hearing about their search, slipped into the icehouse and quickly emerged with the watch. All of the men were amazed and they said, “How did you find it?” And he said, ” Well I simply went to the ice house, closed the door, laid down quietly on the floor, and then I began to listen. After a while, I could hear the tick, tick, tick of the watch.”
It could be that God is not silent after all; it’s possible that we are not tuned into hearing God. We are surrounded by background noise and countless distractions. God is trying to communicate with us, but we can’t hear God because we have blocked him out. Our minds are tuned into the Internet or the television instead of reading our Bible daily or a few moments of quiet prayer with God. It is in those moments that we can hear that still, small voice of our creator God. And it is in those moments that we can receive answers to our worries or concerns.
1 Kings 19:11-12: The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. It is crucial for us to have personal time with God, so that through diligence scripture reading and praying, we may allow God to whisper to us, in that still, and gentle voice.
What is the number one New Year’s resolution ever since the word food was introduced in the English language? That is to lose weight. One may hear this prayer, “Dear God, if you can’t make me look thin, make my friends look fat.”
Some prayers go unanswered because they are simply frivolous. A student was taking a geography test when he came to a question about capital cities. After a few seconds of thinking, he puts his pencil down, closes his eyes, and whispered softly, “Dear God, please let Paris be the capital of England. Amen” And he circles C: Paris.
The New Testament highlights a few foolish requests made directly to Jesus. James and John, along with their ambitious mother, once asked Jesus to reserve prominent positions for them in the kingdom. “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus replied in Matthew 20:22, no doubt shaking his head over how badly they had miss His message. So what is really the issue with these prayers? They are self-serving and not in accord with God’s nature. They put the focus on our things, not the things of God. James 4:3 states, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
The Bible also makes clear that a prayer may go unanswered because of a flaw in the person praying, not the prayer itself. Our human faults - pride and arrogance, may disrupt communication with God. In the midst of a jubilant psalm of praise, one author admits, “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened,” Psalm 66:18. 1st Peter 3:12 says that God will not answer the prayer of a believer if they are in a state of perpetual, unrepentant sin. Matthew 5:24 says that when we fail to forgive others, this is cause for a failed request for His help, “leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
Sometimes, or even most of the times, God is speaking to us, even in our state of sin. But because of our lifestyles of persistent sin, our ears are plugged up that even when God is talking, we can't hear him.
One farmer was sitting on his roof with floodwaters swirling around him. A neighbor in a rowboat offered him help, which he declined, insisting, “God will protect me.” A helicopter then buzzed overhead, its rescue party lowering a rope and ordering through a loudspeaker, “Grab the rope, and we’ll pull you to safety.” The farmer stubbornly shook his head no. Soon the water engulfed the barn and swept the farmer away. In heaven he demanded an explanation from God. “I counted on you to protect me! Why didn’t you answer my prayers?” God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and then a helicopter. What more did you want?”
God also directly declares that, in addition to our private spiritual state, our social concern – for the poor, the unfortunate, widows, friends, family, and strangers – also have a direct bearing on how our prayers are received. Proverbs 21:13 – “Whoever shuts their ears to the cry of the poor, will also cry out and not be answered.” We cannot say to our neighbor, “I love you and enjoy spending time with you, but I don’t like your dog, and please keep those bratty kids out of my yard, will you?” How I treat what belongs to my neighbor affects how he or she receives my love. The same applies to God: how I treat God’s creation, God’s children, will determine how God receives my prayers and my worship. Prayer involves more than bowing my head a few times a day; it pervades all of life, and vice versa (Phillip Yancey, “Prayer”).
Bill Hybels, the founding and senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church in Illinois, tells about an interesting experience after a baptism service in their church. He writes: “I bumped into a woman in the stairwell who was crying. I thought this was a little odd, since the service was so joyful. I asked her if she was all right. She said, ‘No, I’m struggling.’ She said, ‘My mom was baptized today. I prayed for her every day for almost 20 years. The reason I’m crying is because I came this close to giving up on her. At the 5-year mark I said, “Who needs this? God isn’t listening.” At the 10-year mark I said, “Why am I wasting my breath?” At the 15-year mark I said, “This is absurd.” At the 19-year mark I said, “I’m just a fool.” But I just kept trying, kept praying. Even with weak faith I kept praying. Then she gave here life to Christ, and she was baptized today. I will never doubt the power of prayer again.”
Sometimes, we need more patience in prayer. The minor prophet, Habakkuk speaks for all of us when he grew impatient in waiting for God to answer his request in 1:2, “How long must I call for help, but you do not listen?” I personally and most certainly identify with Habakkuk in his sentiments. Psalms 37 is a great Psalm to read about patience in prayer – verse 7: “Rest before the Lord and wait patiently for Him, do not worry when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” Verse 34 - Wait for the Lord and keep His way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.” Sometimes the prayers of our heart take time. They are not answered overnight. Rather, prayers are answered in God’s time.
As Christian we accept God’s sovereignty by recognizing that God can be silent. There is no obligation for God to answer you, inform you or let you know anything. Like us, Job faced the choice of acknowledging—or rejecting—the sovereignty of God. In response to his suffering and loss, Job's wife suggests he curse God and die. Instead of following her advice, Job chooses to let God be God. "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" he asked (Job 2:10).
Accepting God's sovereignty also means actively trusting God, realizing He is in control and can be trusted. "Though He slay me," says Job, "I will hope in Him" (13:15). Nothing in Job's life, or ours, happens apart from God's knowledge and plan. As we learn at the beginning of the Book of Job, God was fully aware of all the things that were about to happen to Job. In fact, He gave Satan permission to do these things in Job's life. At no point does God release His control.
Silence can also be a sign of God's trust. It can also be a sign of intimacy. The Gospel of John tells a story about Jesus' friends Lazarus, Mary and Martha. When Jesus found out that Lazarus was ill, he didn't rush to Lazarus' house to heal him. Instead, Jesus stayed where he was for two more days (John 11:6). And before Jesus arrived in Bethany, Lazarus died. To Lazarus' sisters, Mary and Martha, Jesus' silence could have been interpreted as neglect—that Jesus didn't care or didn't want to help them. This mirrors many of the emotions we feel when God doesn't immediately answer our cries for help. But in Jesus' silence we, along with Mary and Martha, are drawn into a new closeness to God and understanding of His power. Four days after he died, Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus, showing His power.
"When you cannot hear God," says Oswald Chambers in My Utmost For His Highest, "you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible—with absolute silence, not a silence of despair, but one of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand an even bigger revelation."
When you are completely comfortable with a person, it is possible to sit in a room together and not utter a word. In love, silence can be a sign of intimacy.
For Job, God's silence was also a result of the depth of their relationship. When Satan approached God, He said, "Have you considered My servant Job?" (Job 1:8). In trust, God chose Job.
Just because God seems silent doesn't mean you should doubt Him or stop praying. God's silence isn't a license for us to turn our backs on Him. Instead, it's an invitation to press forward and seek Him even more diligently. The psalmists modeled crying out to God. David said, "Oh my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest" (Psalm 22:2). Job also continually cries out to God, for almost 37 chapters, waiting for God to answer.
Daniel waited three weeks for an answer to his prayer. After climbing Mount Sinai to receive the Ten Commandments, Moses waited six days before hearing God’s voice. Think of the centuries that passed between the disruption caused by Adam and the reconciliation brought by Jesus: centuries that included Abraham’s waiting for a child, the Israelites’ waiting for liberation, the prophets’ waiting for Messiah. Waiting, waiting, and waiting, in God’s silence. Phillip Yancey suggested that the act of waiting itself, works to nourish in us qualities of patience, persistence, trust, gentleness, compassion – or it may do so, if we place ourselves in the stream of God’s movement in earth. It may take more faith to trust God when we do not get what we ask for than we do. Hebrews 11 includes the poignant comment that the heroes of faith were commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.” It then intertwines their frustrated destiny with ours: “God had planned something better for us that only together with us would they be made perfect.” Faith calls us to trust in a future-oriented God.
Hence for the pages of the Book of Job, for almost 37 chapters, God is silent. But in chapter 38, God answers—and questions Job. "Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?" asks God. "Tell Me, if you have understanding" (38:4). God is in control and has been all along. He heard Job's cries for help. In trust, He waited for the perfect time to speak. Through the book Job, and all those who have before us, we are reminded that in God’s silence, He works with us, and He listens to our prayers. No matter how circumstances appear at any given moment, even when God is silent, we can trust the fact that God still rules the universe. The divine reputation rests on a solemn pact, that one day, all shall be well.
